Care Giver – loving fustration.

Two months with Mother, laughs, cries and frustration. I want my mother back. family reunion 014


Loving Motherdear

ImageDear siblings, mother arrived on Wednesday December 19, 2013. I had tears in my eyes before i saw her. when she arrived eyes cleared of any tears. “Gwen, I could not have driven by myself without Angie’s help” said mother with satisfaction in her voice.  I know mother, flying by yourself is hard for a lot of people.

As the service person took mother to the elevator in her chair, mother reached in her purse and gave the woman a tip.  found out later, mother had mixed her money up and gave the service person more than $5.00.

I had a meal prepared for their arrival. Bar-b-que, pepper veggies, etc. later on that day mother thank Angie again and again for bringing her to CT. I thought of the time mother, took me to school on my first day at St. Benedict. I was so grateful for having a mother that used extraordinary skills to make me fill comfortable. Who was so nervous she dropped my Long Ranger lunch box several times, before leaving me in my seat.

Life is a complete circle.

Thursday morning, we went shopping. Mother left her purse in the car, and entered the store determine not to purchase anything.Inside the Uptown Consignment shop a pair of designer show boots caught mother’s eye. After several minutes of trying to get mother to try them on she did. In the meantime I went back out to the car to get her card. She bought the boots for $12.00 way below the retail price of $78.00. Fast forward to Sunday December 22nd.  “Oh my feet hurt, I don’t understand I have worn these shoes before.” mother winched.  I caught myself from saying mother you bought those shoes on Thursday. Again mother said,“I had these shoes a long time don’t understand why they are hurting me know.”  Riding home from the meeting we saw a man pushing a cart filled with cans. I explained that the man was taking them to the start to recycle and get money for his cans.

Gwen you had cans stolen off your porch” mother said as if it happen yesterday. “Yes I said, a year ago, but I no longer keep them on my back porch”  This is the mother I miss and relish the time she remembers. These moments are few and far between.

Dementia is insidious, it robs the person of a life of glorious memories and leaves them with frustration, heartache and depression for not remembering something that was everyday memory.  

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